Why wait?

I know that most girls would love to hear that a boy is willing to wait for them to get better and to feel better in their hearts to love them back, but this boy who is waiting for me makes me wonder ‘Why wait?’

He really cares for me and I like that, but I have had a hell of a year and I can’t open myself up to something new because the thought of losing it scares me too much. I need to focus on me before anything else.

I feel bad, I really do and I don’t want him to wait for a broken girl like me to patch herself back together so that she can be with him because I don’t know when that will be. I don’t know what kind of person I am going to be once I am all back together, but I don’t want him to be waiting for me for so long. I want him to be with someone who will love him back.

Don’t get me wrong, I care for him, but only as I would a friend and the more he pushes for something more, the more I run away. I’m scared, I admit that and I’m unsure. I guess these are just fears and worries that we all have to face, but it still makes me think ‘Why wait?’ Why is he waiting for me? What if he is waiting forever?

Sometimes waiting is a good thing, but I don’t want him to be waiting for so long that in the end, I can’t reciprocate his feelings.

Relationships and love are hard, but I don’t think I’m ready for a new one, so I don’t want him to wait.

Everyone deserves a chance a love, but I don’t want to be the one stopping him from having his chance because he is waiting for me.

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About oddchildout

18 and at University. Good with computers, well I have to be when I work with them and getting a degree in them, I guess. I live at home with my parents and two sisters. Not much really, but I am the Oddchildout.
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One Response to Why wait?

  1. Pingback: song: “the one she’s been waiting for” « power of language blog: partnering with reality by JR Fibonacci

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