But I’m kind of comfortable with getting older because it’s better than the other option, which is being dead. So I’ll take getting older.
Today is my middle sister’s 16th birthday and it has made me realise just how old I am. I don’t remember my sister being born, that is because I was 2 and a half, but I don’t remember a time without her being there. I guess that is the joy of siblings, especially if they are born so close to you, you don’t remember a time without them there.
I can say that about my middle sister because she has always been my shadow and she has always been there, but I can’t say it about my baby sister. I remember life before her. I remember wanting another sister. I remember the day she was born. I remember everything about her and so she makes me feel a lot older because she and I have a 7 year age gap.
So as I sit here in my living room all on my own, waiting for the birthday girl to come home with my parents and our younger sister, I keep staring at the cards and thinking how impossible it is that my little sister is 16 when it feels like only yesterday that I was wearing that gaudy big 16 badge that flashed. Yes FLASHED! Thank you mother and I was being the 16-year-old, but now I am older.
I am the 18-year-old with friends at university who are between the ages of 18 and 24. I am older, yes but am I wiser? I am when it comes to what I need and what I want out of life. As I have gotten older I have realised that I can’t please everyone and that in the end it is me that has to come first because I am no good to anyone a gibbering wreck in the corner.
I feel like I have been through so much this year that it should have lasted me a good decade, but I am not done yet. I have barely even started.
As I get older I have realised that I am having to learn how to juggle a lot of things in my life. Family, school, appointments, money and work. I guess getting older just means becoming more comfortable in my own skin and with my own life. Yes, a lot of things are still up in the air, but I will get a handle on things.
Life is about not knowing what is ahead of you, but having the faith to put one foot in front of another and keep on walking.
I’m just getting older and better.