A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often – just to save it from drying out completely.
My sturdy friend, Emily R, came round my house today and she was here for about 4 hours. I have to admit that with her here it made it all seem better, at least for a little while.
Although today didn’t go completely to plan and the outcomes of it are saddening too, having a friend over to watch movies with, to talk to and to laugh with made the sadness of everything that had happened to me in this year decrease just a bit. I feel different when I am with my friends, like I am a different person completely.
My friends have been there through it all with me and some would have walked away, told me that it was too much for them to handle and that they didn’t know how to handle me, but a lot of my friends have stuck by me.
But trust me and this comes from personal experience, but there are only so many times that a ‘friend’ can hurt you before you have to go: “This isn’t good for me and although you have helped me in the past, you aren’t here when I need you the most and what you promise me doesn’t happen, so I don’t want to get hurt anymore, I don’t deserve to be hurt anymore.” Trust me when I say that is easier said than done, but to make yourself better, you can’t have people around you who are going to keep upsetting you.
True friends make the sadness seem smaller because they keep promises to you and they call you back when you need them the most, but a “phone” friend where you just talk on the phone, is not someone who will truly be there. A friend who comes to your house when you ask them too, that is a true friend and they make the pain seem easier.
This may be my way of ranting about what it takes to be a true friend, but a true friend keeps a promise and when too many promises are broken by that friend then maybe it is time to just realise that they are never going to be there for you like they used to. Friends come and go, but a true one will never leave and that is what you have to remember.
I have tried and fought for friends, but there comes a time when fighting has to end and you need to focus on yourself. If they are really your friend then they will return and if they were really your friend then they would keep their promises.
I guess what I am saying at the end of all this ranting and raving about friends not keeping promises and letting them go is that friends help to cloud the sad times. They help to tell you that everything will be alright and they agree with you when you say something is crappy and bad.
My friends have been through a lot when it comes to me, but most of them are still standing and still by my side. There are one or two that I wish I still had, but the ones that are still there for me, still keeping promises and still coming to see me on a few days notice, are the ones that I want to keep with me.
I’ve come to realize that life is full of disappointments but you have the choice to let your self fall behind, or pick yourself up and keep on going…!If they want to be